Rumours
by linseed
Summary: Jack receives a phonecall from Daniel early one morning. Short AU story in two chapters. SJ. Will move to M in chapter 2. Disclaimer: not mine! BTW, I post elsewhere as lili, so don't think this story has been stolen from her.
1. Chapter 1

… and you woke me up at " he peered blearily at the clock " five-thirty in the morning to tell me this?"

"Aren't you usually up at this time already?"

"Yeah well I could have been otherwise engaged, Daniel … I could be lying in bed draped around somebody for all you know … I could have been hanging off a breast by the skin of my teeth … you could be interrupting some really hot …"

"I'm inspired with confidence Jack .." - at the other end Daniel Jackson shook his head sadly. "Now will you please listen … we have a problem here.

"And you're expecting me to …"

"Talk to her Jack. Something's going on with her."

"Not my thing Dannyboy. What am I supposed to do – call her into my office and interrogate her. She's leading SG-1, for crying out loud. She took over from me – there's your transference of male power right there - and now you want me to ask her if she's feeling inferior and suggest she has psychic conflict? Goodbye Daniel."

Jack O'Neill put down the phone without waiting for a response and turned to the blonde next to him, who had been listening with barely-contained amusement.

"Rumour has it you have penis envy …" he said as he settled back against her chest.


	2. Chapter 2

"So he fell for it after all …" Sam ran her fingers through Jack's hair.

"Hook, line and sinker" Jack nuzzled her breasts and traced the contours lazily with his finger. "Hook ….. line ….. and sinker."

"So what now?"

"Breakfast …"

"Breakfast?"

"Yep …" he started burrowing under the sheets, trailing wet kisses as he went. "Lots of edible stuff down here that has my name written all over it."

"I meant about Daniel …"

"Daniel who?" Jack's head tented the sheet for a moment and then disappeared again. "I don't know any Daniels .."

"Jaaa –a - aaack …." His nose spread her labia. "We can't just leave him hanging."

"Sez who?" came the muffled response.

"Oh God …" her back arched at the feel of his loose tongue lapping away at the entrance followed by light breathing on it. "Jack … be serious. Jack … JACK!"

Jack came up in a huff.

"WHAT?" he thundered. "I'm trying to get you off here. Can you please shut .." he trailed off when he saw her flinch, and his voice softened. "I'm sorry." He reached out to touch her face. "It's just … can you please just stop thinking about Daniel when I'm going down on you – it's really a downer. Ah crap … I didn't mean to shout at you" – he reached out for her as she moved a fraction further away from him. "Come 'ere …" He wrapped one arm around her waist and buried his face in her neck, lying between her thighs. "I'm sorry Sam …"

She didn't say anything but placed her hands on his shoulders and squeezed.

The silence continued for a few more seconds and then Jack turned round, the back of his head resting on Sam's breasts.

"Ok – so … Daniel …." he said, resignedly.

"What are you going to do about him?"

"Me? Hey … you're the one that wanted to do this in the first place."

"But it was supposed to be an April's Fool joke! He was supposed to catch on immediately, and let me have a good laugh at his expense, not sit on it for two weeks and then call you at the crack of dawn in a state of panic."

"True. But you know … we could get good mileage outta this one."

"How?"

"Oh come on Sam … the guy's chain could do with some serious yanking. Give him something to think about apart from his rocks for a change."

"You wouldn't …" she stared at him in disbelief.

"Ya think?"

"It's cruel …"

"Your point?"

Sam ran a hand over her face and suddenly saw the extreme merit in Jack's train of thought. She giggled.

"Exxxxxxxxxcellent …." Jack grinned.

"You know …" Sam began, sending a hand down across his chest to toy with a nipple. "I've been thinking a little about your penis-envy line …"

"Yeah?" Jack turned his head towards her a little.

"I actually think I do have some – just not in the Freudian sense" she hesitated, as if unsure whether to go on.

"Care to explain?"

"I don't really know how to put it into words .."

"That's gotta be a first …"

"Hey …" she swatted him on the arm.

"I'm listening …" he reached over his head and stroked her left forearm up and down gently, encouraging her to talk.

"Well … I just … maybe it sounds really weird … but I actually do find myself envying your penis. I'd love to feel your sensations when you penetrate me. It sounds as if it's so incredible and .."

"Going all narcissistic on me Carter?"

She smiled.

"Not really … but the way you moan just really turns me on and I just wish it could be me, that's all. When we have sex I'm busy handling my own sensations. But actually … to be honest I'm most curious about what you feel when you … you know … erm … get yourself off on your own."

"Huh …." was all Jack could say, feeling the onset of the first stages of arousal.

"So …" Sam continued, "I was wondering" her arms urged him to scoot back until he was flush up against her "… since I have no chance of acquiring one .. if I could .. erm .. bring you off … manually? With you sitting like this I'll be able to feel the vibrations as you ..erm .. build up and .. erm …come" she came to a halt, feeling a little bit shy.

Jack blinked once, and then twice, and then he gyrated the upper half of his body to look at her.

"Are you blushing? Oh come on Sam … you've had me in your mouth but you feel you need permission to touch me?"

He leaned back against her hard and stretched his legs ramrod straight. "You're in charge Carter … knock yourself out."

"Any special requests?" Sam whispered in his ear.

"Surprise me. Closing my eyes now. Feel free to be verbal."

Sam rotated her shoulder blades and slid her hand across Jack's waist.

"Why hello there …" she said as Jack's dick rose to meet her questing hand.

"Yep … there's our boy." Jack turned his head slightly and smeared a kiss on her armpit juncture.

Sam gripped his dick relatively close to the base, and made short, fast strokes for a while.

"We going for that stop and go thingy again?" Jack asked as he squirmed a little.

'Not really …" Sam started to stroke in a slightly circular motion. Jack cracked his eyes open and watched in amazement as the head whipped back and forth, sexual tension coiling already.

"Is this turning you on too?" he asked as he felt a rush of moisture assault his back.

"You have no idea …"

"Whatcha doin? It feels great .." his head lolled back against her, his body lost in the feel of her palms against his aching member.

"I guess the idea is to find the exact stroking rate that matches the sympathetic resonant frequency of your penis" Sam explained as the head whipped back and forth with a motion opposite to that of her hand. "You should be able to feel the inertia of your penis resisting my hand and …"

"Is this your idea of talking dirty to me Carter …" Jack interrupted "because you're freakin' me out here."

Suddenly he screwed his eyes shut and arched back against her. "Oh God … God God God …go go go …"

Sam made her index finger into a hook and picked up the pace, keeping her eyes trained on Jack as his expression turned intense and he started to shake. The more he struggled to hold on the more turned on she became.

"Let it go Jack …" he scrabbled on the bed trying to pump; only there was nothing he could pump into, so he hovered on the brink of coming and strained for release.

"Touch me! Touch me!" he screamed, writhing on the mattress wildly, thrashing from side to side within the confines of Sam's thighs.

Sam was way beyond coherence, her own orgasm crashing through her already. She struggled to make fists to simulate a tunnel. Jack's felt his penis dredge first one through and then the other. His face scrunched up and he exploded – sperm flying everywhere in globules, his breath knocked out of him.

Silence descended on the bedroom. Both of them just lay there, wiped out by the intensity of the experience. Sam kissed Jack's head and caressed his neck and shoulders as he held onto her knees.

And then, in the midst of their post-orgasmic haze came a small voice -

"Eh … Jack? Sam? Guys? Think you can put the phone back in its hook properly – I need to make another call."


End file.
